you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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