dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
