I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
