Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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