Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
