Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Please don't give away my fajitas
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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