That's intense
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
it's like heaven, but drunker
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
