chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
