Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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