You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
