Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
