I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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