after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
