So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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