On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
