I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Your penis caused this!
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