I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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