First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
