I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
