Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
