Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I think my fart just growled at me.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
