There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
We smell like vodka and hangover
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