I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
