you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
this beer tastes like vomit already
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
