i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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