Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
