4 words: hood of his car
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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