This is not my ceiling
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
