you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
