if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
‪So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?‬
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
