I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
