evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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