You're so nebulous sometimes
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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