there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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