But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
