he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
