I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
