You just made me feel so damn special
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize