Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
