Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
