He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
