Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
