evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
People in love make me want to vomit
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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