I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
