I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
