FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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