Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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