Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
