that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Randomize
