Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
