i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
