Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
When did angry sex become our thing?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just forgot I was standing up.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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