all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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