the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
