Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
