she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
that may or may not have been my penis.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize