i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
