I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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