She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
