fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Congratulations! We have a period
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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