If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
