so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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