In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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