So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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