Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i wish my penis had a tongue
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
