i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
