You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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