At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
