I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
