How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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