Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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